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Freshers just need to know this…

By People Reporter
Monday, October 7th, 2019
University graduation.Photo/FILE

Colour green has always been associated with fresh produce; no wonder freshers are so green!

It’s probably because they’re fresh in campo or probably because they’re fresh out of high school and the differences of the two worlds are clashing and confusing our green freshmen.

As I always do, I’ll play the good guy and share a few insights, so that y’all don’t embarrass yourselves. 

1. In campus, we do not stand to greet when the lecturer enters the lecture room. So, don’t go all ‘Good morning Dr Kirimi, we are fine and you?’

2. There is no language policy and nobody will give you a ‘monto’ when you yell out in your mother tongue. So, feel free to exercise your freedom of speech.

3. There are no prefects. We only have class reps and they don’t write a list of noisemakers. Their only job is to text you when the lecturer cancels a class.

So, for those of you who will be chosen to be class reps, thunder unto your destiny if you attempt to write noisemakers and take the list to the Dean! 

4. Freshmen, nobody will crucify your soul for bringing snacks to school. Stop standing at the gates acting all fidgety during security checks. They’re just looking for bombs not your biscuits.  

5. If you are from the rural, don’t worry. You will acquire an accent within your two weeks of stay at the campus.

Do you remember exchanging pullovers with girls during funkies? Well, forget about that. We don’t have funkies here; we only have raves and don’t exchange pullovers; we buy them drinks.

6. Were you the master of love letters back in school? Well, forget about that too.

The only letters we write in campus is when you are telling the registrar that you want to defer a semester. You can rest assured there is nothing romantic about that.

7. We don’t have tuition. We only have supplementaries. Don’t be fooled by the welcoming sound of that name. It’s your worst nightmare.

8. Kindly leave those metallic boxes at home. And the Toughee shoes, too!

9. Finally, a moment of silence for those aspiring law students flocking at the registrar to submit their application forms; and yet they are already calling each other ‘learned friend... my lord this… my lord that...’ The Bible says, not all those who call him ‘Lord Lord’ will entre the kingdom of heaven.

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