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Ten bizarre divorce settlement claims

By Nailantei Norari
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2020
Nobel Prize in Economics.
In summary

A broken marriage has a way of turning seemingly normal people into full-blown irrational clowns. When you add divorce settlements into the equation, weird and crazy claims take centre stage as the former partners wrangle and wrestle for control. Nailantei Norari lists a few ridiculous divorce demands.

Breast custody

In 2017, Simon Williams applied for custody of his wife’s breasts as part of his divorce settlement in a US court.

Describing the breasts as being of ‘great sentimental value’ in his submission, he said he would happily give up any claim over the house for full custody.

Alternatively, his wife could have the car in return for access at weekends. He said the breasts had been with him through thick and thin, terming them as a rock in times of need and a pillow in times of comfort.

He argued that his quality of life would decline substantially if he lost custody.

However, Simon’s soon to be ex-wife rejected the request, saying that his failure to grant her exclusive possession of his ‘bits and bobs’ during their marriage undermined his request.

Kidney battle

In 2009, during a divorce settlement, one Dr Richard Batista asked for his kidney back as a condition for divorce.

He said he had given the kidney to his then wife and mother to his two kids when they were married and divorce changed everything.

His lawyers either wanted the kidney or $1.5 million (Sh150 million). Judges and doctors argued this was unethical as one cannot assign the value of a gift retrogressively or take it back.

Moreover, taking back the kidney would have meant death or life-long dialysis.

A giant catfish

A Massachusetts couple had a giant catfish named Pinky, which was a major cause for argument during the divorce settlement.

The husband who got the house refused to keep the three-kilo catfish and the wife who had moved into an apartment was forced to take Pinky.

The fish was forced to share a tiny tank with another fish and consequently suffered a heart attack and died.

Saw it in half

In most divorce settlements where partners fight over a house, the common solution is to sell the house and split the money in half.

But this was too hard for a Spanish couple that had lived together for 40 years and had two children.

They sawed the house into two, and divided the house into four parts, one for each of them and for each of their kids.

The husband moved his part of the house to his parent’s compound as the wife still resides on her half in her quarter of their property.

Dig up graves

A couple in Australia was getting a divorce and the wife got the family farm as the husband could afford to move elsewhere with his plush salary.

So far, so good, there is nothing strange about this arrangement. But then she wanted her soon-to-be ex to dig up his parents’ ashes from the yard, where he had created a memorial garden for them, and remove them from the property.

Support in royalties

Marvin Gaye made the album Here, My Dear hoping it would tank as his divorce settlement had clearly stipulated that half of his next album’s sales and profits would go to his ex-wife.

The album, unfortunately for him, and fortunately for his ex was a commercial success. The money was to be used as child support for their son.

A Nobel Prize

When Robert Lucas won the Nobel Prize in Economics in 1995, his joy was marred by the fact that he had to split any winnings with his former wife.

The ex-wife had negotiated for half of any future winnings in their 1988 divorce.

He was in pretty good company, as Albert Einstein also had to share his win with his ex after winning his Nobel Prize in Physics in 1921.

Ice cream bills

An Indian man said one reason for wanting to divorce his wife was that she spent a huge portion of the family’s fortune on ice cream.

It looks like the judge did not fully agree with the husband because he ordered him to pay his soon-to-be ex-wife of 23 years extra money every month to cover her ice cream expenses.

A butcher’s block

Actor Dennis Hopper’s estranged wife, who was in the process of divorcing him when he died, wanted the butcher’s block, asparagus tongs, an exercise bike, juicer, and rosebushes as part of her divorce settlement.

This case was never settled as the actor died before the case could be determined.

No other ‘Hoff’

David Hasselhoff, a famous Baywatch and Knight Rider actor, successfully negotiated the exclusive use of his nickname Hoff, Malibu Dave as well as rights to the bumper sticker directive ‘Don’t Hassle the Hoff’ away from ex-wife Pamela Bach.

This makes sense because such catchphrases can be very easily get commercialised.

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