Can I date and financially support a younger man?
Hi, I recently met this guy with whom we have been in touch for the last four months. He is a nice guy, but honestly I want to help him grow. He is still in school and he will be graduating next year. I have a small hustle I am doing.
Is it right to date someone who is still studying? How can I tell that this relationship will work out? I have not given him my yes yet. I really would love to know if I can date someone. I have been single for one year plus. Should we lay down rules? Kindly advice.
Our Take
Thanks for seeking advice. Dating someone is not a bad thing unless you both understand what you are doing and why you are doing it. Four months is such a short time to really know someone that well. You need to be sure that you are not just infatuated with this person.
Having said that, you mention two things here, one is that this guy is still a student and you are working or at least have a small hustle. There’s really nothing wrong with dating someone who is still studying if they are mature enough.
Weigh your options
Maturity has nothing to do with age, but how responsible one is. The fact that he is younger than you can be an issue, especially if he is not secure enough to handle that, plus the fact that you are working and he’s a student.
You cannot help him grow if he is not willing or wants to grow. This is the mistake many women make when they are in such relationships.
They think that they can change the man and when he doesn’t change they end up frustrated.
You also mentioned that you have been single for one year. Do you mean that you feel one year is enough time for you to have detoxified from your previous relationship, or that you are panicking because you have been single for that long?
If your reason is the latter, then that’s not a reason for jumping into a relationship.
You don’t enter a relationship to see if you can also date or date again, or to prove something or because you are afraid of being single.
When time is ripe
If he is mature enough and you want to date for the right reason, then you need to let your relationship grow naturally until you have known him pretty well to want to get to know him better.
During the dating period, you can then agree on certain ground rules like, if you are an item, then you shouldn’t be seeing other people.
Dating should be exclusive. Let it be a time to really get to know each other.
You should not start behaving like a married couple. Remember many people have been seriously hurt because they didn’t steward their dating relationship well. The writers are marriage and relationship coaches [email protected]
