Does your spouse love you or your money?
Is it always easy to tell if they love you or they love your bank account more? Sometimes you can tell, sometimes you cannot.
If they love your money, they show no interest in your life, preferences, or situation. They are disinterested in conversations with you and they don’t care about your everyday life.
They are not interested in your opinion or any personal challenges that you may have. They may also not want to have one on one dates with you. They prefer to meet you in a group setting, where they don’t have to focus on you.
They are extremely nice when they want something or just after they have gotten something that they needed. This is when they show you all the sugar and spice that gives you the illusion that love is in the air. However, as soon as the excitement of helping them is over, they revert to being busy and disinterested in you.
If your boo is interested in the contents of your bank account, they will always encourage you to have high-paying jobs and high-paying business gigs, regardless of the cost to you.
This may appear like a good thing because they seem to be rooting for your success and wanting good things to happen to you. However, this cheering you on has more to do with the fact that when you earn more money, they get more favours from you. They get to live off your high income. They know that if you don’t have the money, they won't get any money either.
The relationship always feels unequal when you are with someone who is using you. You are always the one paying for things, buying things and even giving money. Because they don’t care about you, you are also always the one who is giving emotionally, planning for dates, buying gifts and basically running the relationship.
If your bae is never excited about giving you back or using the same amount of energy that you do to please them, then they might be using you.
How do they react when you say ‘no’? A person who loves you will understand your boundaries and respect your ‘no’. A person who is using you will get upset when you say ‘no’ to their request. They will feel entitled to your time, resources and generosity.
Listen to your sixth sense. What are your gut feelings saying? Is your partner genuine? Do you feel resentful towards them because you feel used? So you feel tired and drained when you think about their endless needs and your own unmet needs? Do they really love you?