It is possible to enjoy the sweet fruits of monogamy

Tuesday, May 24th, 2022 10:00 | By
Quality versus quantity in marriage. PHOTO/COURTESY

In my social group, we have eight male friends, who all have families and children. One of us recently got a side dish, and we got to know about it.

We couldn’t believe that this guy, who was our friend, could betray his wife in this way.  “That guy is no longer welcome to our group,” said one friend.

He had hosted us for a dinner in Sweden and everyone at the dinner table was surprised at this statement. He went on to say that this is very common there in Sweden.

Single people are expected to experiment and date liberally. However, once someone got married, they were expected to be 100 per cent faithful. Marital affairs are considered shameful.

This conversation at a dinner table, in the middle of Stockholm, got me thinking about the benefits of monogamy. Back home in Kenya, we have people who are pro-monogamy.

We have those who want to be monogamous, but they fail miserably. Sometimes they fail once or twice or too many times. There are those who think that monogamy is neither practical nor necessary.

Most Swedes succeed at monogamy through social and peer influence (although it can also be said that it is serial monogamy because divorce allows one to have more than one partner, at a time.)

The benefits of monogamy are many. When a couple is monogamous the wife, husband and children get undivided love. There is an intimacy between the husband and the wife, which is not complicated by the existence of another party.

Children feel more secure as they grow up watching their parents in a stable relationship. When there is infidelity, the aggrieved parent is likely to be unhappy and this may cause conflict, which affects the children negatively. Monogamy reduces rivalry in the family, favouritism and jealousy among wives and children.

Infidelity costs time and money. When one has an affair, they may spend less time with their families. They also spend family resources on other parties, which reduces the amount of money spent on the family. This may cause financial instability as there may be no money left for savings and investments.

Monogamy is the surest defence against sexually transmitted infections. When there is a third or fourth party in a relationship, one is never sure how faithful they are, when you are not together. This introduces the risk of infections.

There is less drama during the funeral. Do you know how bereaved wives meet the children of their late husbands a few days before the funeral?

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