Life’s for the living. Don’t wait for marriage to enjoy
Some people fear dining out alone or dining at an expensive restaurant arguing that these things are reserved for couples. They argue that they cannot travel until they have children to travel to exotic destinations with.
They live life halfway, waiting for a spouse, children, or something way out in the future to inspire them to live fully. This ensures that they are never fully present, as there will always be something better to wait for beyond the horizon. There will always be a child’s fifth birthday to wait for in order to go to that restaurant. Or an anniversary to wait for to book that flight.
A discussion with one of my friends in their 80s made me rethink the whole stance around deferring living to a later date that we think we will be happier and more fulfilled in. She explained how during her 20s, she did not live fully as she was yearning for marriage. She had a full list of activities that she had planned out for her and her future husband to do.
When she got married, she would realise that her marriage albeit being a really happy one did not allow for her ideas of what people in marriage do or how they act. She realised that she had wasted most of her single life yearning for marriage rather than exploring her capabilities and talents while unencumbered by a partner and children.
Her words really struck a chord as some girls waste their youth yearning and planning for a marriage that may never happen. While my friend got to get her marriage and simply chose not to do all she had planned to do once she got partnered up, many people may choose to forego the sacrifices that come with marriage. Does that mean you will never tick off anything on your wish list? Are you being fair to yourself?
Besides, these assumptions and future plans, are based on the false confidence that what you are waiting for will come to pass. What if it never does? Does that mean that you will never go to that restaurant or fly to Mombasa? As the sages say, tomorrow is not promised. And tomorrow waits for no man. Numerous restaurants have closed down due to the economic ravages wrought by the pandemic. Marriages break down.
This is why it is important to take advantage of the present and live your best life in the here and now, just as you are. This moment, right here, right now, is guaranteed. Do not defer living till you are older, have more money, have children or get married. Be in the here and now. Just do it.