Marriage built on friendship

Wednesday, December 15th, 2021 11:00 | By
Quality versus quantity in marriage. PHOTO/COURTESY

This week, my husband and I celebrated nine years of being officially married rather calmly.

The truth is that we got to reminisce on a few pasts that softened the air and made it rather sensitive.

Justin and his parents had planned to come home for an introduction in June of 2009.

When I became pregnant in February that year, they moved the dates to October of 2009.

I was eight months pregnant when he paid my dowry and closed the doors to other interested suitors.

Three years later, while planning our wedding, a close relative warned me to check my vows with my husband 10 years later.

“Let’s have this conversation, then,” he said, leaving me wondering if something horrendous lay ahead for us.

Needless to say, we went through our fair share of challenges.

We battled with finances, communication, family, our sex life, you name it, but one thing we never let go of was us. I was approached numerous times for sex by people who knew well I was married.

My husband went through the same, especially right after we were married.

I remember one occasion where a doctor in a hospital he served
approached him and offered him sex. “I know you’re married,” she said, “I saw your wedding on the papers.”

She proceeded to bend as if to pick something, displaying her uncovered behind. How my husband escaped from this situation is a story we still
marvel at.

Once, I sat beside a man who told me that widows and widowers are advised not to remarry in the Kisii culture, but rather get a married partner
to satisfy their sexual needs secretly.

If he was indeed honest, he was widowed, so I instantly knew where he was headed with this story.

If this was the reality no one spoke of before we got married, why lie. Earth out here is hard! We can easily say that we have escaped a chunk of these
challenges because we know their impact on our friendship.

Yes, our friendship always comes atop it all.

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