Men share stories to spark mental health talk 

Julian Guyana Onyango, popularly known in his circles as Guyana OJ is now a mental health champion and alcohol abuse advocate targeting men after battling the drinking addiction for 17 years. 

He says that a toxic childhood prompted him to drink as a teenager. The husband and father of five narrates how his life growing up was filled with anger, mood swings and depressive periods, the voids, that were filled with alcohol. When things got worse, he tried committing suicide twice, but failed. 

“Things were not easy being raised by an alcoholic father and lacking the love of a mother. Our mother left us in Ahero, Kisumu County with our father in our childhood because she couldn’t stand my dad’s drinking habits. She went to stay in our rural home instead,” he starts. “I started drinking after my father to numb the pain that came with being raised by toxic parents,” he adds.

For Nahashon Poel, married and a father of one, being in a toxic relationship blinded by love landed him into depression. He got into depression when eventually his ex-wife left with all his household items and stole money from him.   

“That betrayal from a woman I had loved and trusted really stressed me and I thought alcohol would heal my pain and make me forget the whole ordeal, but that wasn’t the case. I withdrew from work, friends and some of my family members who tried to help me. I had to move to my rural home in Kisii where no one knew what had happened. That’s where I tried committing suicide several times. I had moved from having a stable lifestyle to  depending on my parents for food, shelter and everything else. I felt unworthy,” narrates the professional MC and deejay aka Dj Twerqy.

  Nahashon would then open up for the first time after one year to a friend, who introduced him to a mental health specialist who diagnosed him with depression and the difficult journey to recovery began. “My life before alcohol was good and fruitful. I was hardworking and focussed on my career growth, but then I was carried away by alcoholism, because I did not know how to handle stress the right way,” he recounts.

  In his recovery journey, he had to quit alcohol, and accept that losing physical belongings wasn’t the end of the journey. “I had to get up and restructure my life once again, learn to trust, learn to love and also stop isolating myself from family and friends. Many wouldn’t believe that I had quit the bottle. They said I was pretending,while others said I was broke and hence couldn’t afford to buy alcohol. I had to avoid most of my friends, as well, because I was trying to change my ways for the better,” he divulges.

Just like Nahashon, Guyana too chose to go for therapy after other remedies failed. “I have embraced recovery, a thing that I take very seriously now. I don’t drink anymore; My wife and children discuss about issues of mental health openly in the house in the bid to increase our knowledge and fight stigma in our spaces. I have regained my full health and my respect as the head of my family and among my peers in my community. I have also become a source of inspiration for men struggling with drinking and mental health problems,” he says.

 Men are said to always shy away from sharing their problems, unlike women. Mental health experts say some men struggle talking with others, especially other men, about their feelings, experiences, and struggles. There can be fear or hesitation that opening up will expose one’s failure because they were not able to hold it together and “man up.” Others may relate sharing their feelings and “being emotional” as something only women do and, therefore, do not talk. 

Nahashon agrees. He says at first, he feared to speak out, because being a man, he thought he would fight it alone. “The stigma as well that comes with sharing our experiences makes men prefer keeping their problems to themselves, not knowing how that would be a trigger to various mental health disorders,” he shares.

Guyana is also of the same school of thought. He says unlike women, men do not have safe spaces from where they can talk and share their problems without being judged.

Largest burden

 According to a 2020 report by the Ministry of Health, it is estimated that one in every 10 people suffer from a common mental disorder. Depression and anxiety disorders are the leading mental illnesses diagnosed in Kenya, followed by substance use disorders.  Among the different types of substances, alcohol contributes to the largest burden of substance use-related illnesses in Kenya. 

Geoffrey Khira, a medical psychologist, says that culture has played a huge role in why more men are experiencing mental health conditions than their female counterparts. He says that there are many risk factors and triggers, but they may be interlinked in most cases. “Genetics may be one cause, as well as  living in a stressful environment, living in poverty or having an abusive family can put a lot of stress on your brain and often trigger mental illness,” he explains, adding “Even if you’re no longer in a stressful environment, things that happened to you as a child can have an impact later in life. 

Recovery journey

Research shows that men are more likely to die by suicide, less likely to pursue therapy, and have lower life satisfaction. The reasoning behind these statistics is likely partially cultural, but there are other factors at play that could span country borders as well.

The Kenyan culture largely places financial responsibility on men, and it is also common for the head male in a family to find better employment in urban areas leaving their family behind. All of these factors can put a strain on male well-being, “Most men may  also think that their gender doesn’t allow them to cry, their financial status as well. Hence, they forget they are still human beings and anything can happen,” he adds.

He says that mental health in Kenya isn’t addressed in the way that physical health is. 

Nonetheless, Geoffrey advises that there is treatment for depression. “When you visit a psychiatric practitioner, based on the severity of the depression, they may put you on antidepressants that help address the brain chemistry. 

Cognitive behaviour therapy comes in handy to help in thought restructuring so that the client’s perception of the world is healthy. This is what is commonly referred to as psychotherapy or counseling by a psychologist or psychiatrist. If the depression is not severe, rest is always recommended and forming good habits, such as exercise, eating a balanced diet, engaging in healthy social activities and other activities that ensure you have an active and healthy lifestyle always help your mind relax and improve both your physical and mental wellbeing,” he explains.

Nahashon and Guyana have gone through the recovery journey with the help of Basic Needs Basic Rights Kenya, an organisation which has been implementing an anti-stigma and discrimination campaign in Nairobi since 2019. The programme dubbed Speak Up was informed by a baseline study they did in Nairobi County that revealed rampant stigma and discrimination against people with mental health conditions. 

Eugene Wakaneya, the Communications and Advocacy Officer, Basic Needs Basic Rights Kenya says that the programme was piloted in 2019 where they tested a concept known as social contact. 

Health condition 

“This is whereby a person with experience of a mental health condition has one-on-one conversations with members of the public who have not had experience with a mental health condition. The idea is to debunk many myths, misconceptions and stereotypes that exist in society around mental health and mental illnesses. The four-year programme was rolled out in April 2020 and will run untill April 2024,” Eugene reveals.

The organisation has empowered over 30 young people (with mental health conditions) between the ages of 18 and 35 in Nairobi, who have now taken up the task of being mental health champions. Eugene says that these young people have been able to engage people within their communities through one-on-one conversations, social media and even mainstream media, where they have helped challenge the stigma and discrimination against people with mental health conditions. “Their courage to openly talk about their experiences has helped normalise conversations around mental health within their communities and this has seen more and more people come out to seek help whenever they feel like they may be having a mental health condition. “The Ministry of Health recently launched the Kenya Mental Health Action Plan 2021 to 2025 which has provided a framework for both National and County Governments and stakeholders to implement the Mental Health Policy through strategic objectives with specified priority targets and indicators. 

Eugene says that their aspiration as an organisation is to see all 47 Counties domesticate this action plan to suit their respective contexts noting that health is a devolved function.