Should you take a bath with your child?
Some parents don’t view having a shower with their young children as normal; instead they find it absurd being naked in the same space with their children.
Surprisingly, others really don’t mind this. For them the question is when is the ideal time to stop showering with them.
Caroline Wanjiru, for instance, says this is not new to her. On several occasions she has had to shower with her son, a routine she has never found strange.
“I used to, but I eventually stopped when he was two. It wasn’t an everyday thing, maybe when I’m rushing somewhere with him or we’re on vacation and there’s a good bubble bath. I always thought the little human could use a good soak too,” she says.
Caroline says she has never thought of it as taboo.
“He didn’t know much then; he viewed it as a normal thing. Maybe past that age, heading to three years, he would have been able to recognise the physical differences and appearance,” she says.
Appropriate time?
Contrary to Caroline, Phoebe Njoki says she has never bathed with her daughter.
Even after her daughter turned two years old, she cannot even change her top in front of her
“Children of nowadays know so many things at a tender age. Once they are two years old, their memory is way developed and everything they see or hear might stay in their memories forever.
I am sure that if she ever saw me naked, she would always ask so many questions and any slight explanation would give her a topic to discuss with her friends during their play dates,” she says.
So when is it appropriate for a parent to shower with their children? Two, three, five … never?
Peninah Wanda, an educational expert says drawing from her African cultural background, there are certain taboos that should never be forgotten.
Community systems
“The way I see it, taboos form part of the framework of the society in terms of social order and social order is very important for any healthy society or culture.
They form the cultural meaning systems of a community; the knowledge, values, morals within which the society operates,” she says.
She explains that when it comes to the issue of showering with your children, her thoughts navigate more towards taboo than normalcy.
“If I look at it from my African eyes, my parents would never indulged in such practices as it made them weak in the sense that they would lose their power.
You see, in African homes, authority is a big thing. Knowing you have overstepped a boundary is a big thing.
Sometimes, I tend to think that is the reason why my father has always had his place in the family as the head,” she says.
According to her, this is a culture that many Africans have picked from the western world.
Although she applauds western culture for the innovations they have brought to the African realm, she says just like any culture, there are both positive and negative aspects that present themselves.
“Allowing your children to see your nakedness is taboo in my opinion. I draw a lesson from the Bible where one of the sons of Noah saw his nakedness and the consequence was a curse.
I have roots in the lake basin region and women shower with their children in the lake.
I have just never seen my mother doing the same. I would like to levitate towards it being one of the western tastes that the modern family has acquired,” she says.
On his part, Ken Munyua, a psychologist terms this as exposure to nudity. He explains that whether the child is at the age where they understand certain things or not, it is just wrong for you as a parent to shower in front of them.
“The fact that they do not know anything about nudity and you actually get naked in front of them makes it looks like you are teaching them about nudity,” he says.
He adds that this, in many occasions, is the beginning of pornography in children.
He further explains that by the mere fact that they have seen you naked, they have become more aware, and will begin to question physical differences.
“As an African man it is a taboo for children to see their parents naked, apart from it it being uncomfortable it is wrong for a child to even come across their parent’s inner wears.
So, as much as some parents might argue that they would shower with their children until a certain age, they should know that it is something they shouldn’t even think of,” he says.
