British Premier mulls fleeing to rules-friendlier East Africa

Monday, January 24th, 2022 07:30 | By

Shocked by the reaction to the revelations that he had a drink at the 10 Downing Street sometime in December 2020, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is reportedly looking for a friendlier and considerate country to run to.

Impeachable sources say after wide consultations with his family, friends and close allies, Johnson had finally settled on an East African country, which is said to be extremely indulgent of its leaders’ weaknesses and is willing to overlook some of their sins.

Sources say Johnson picked the country, which is neither Tanzania nor Uganda, particularly because it has been very accommodating to its politicians particularly during the Covid-19 pandemic.

He is said to be excited by reports that when the strict Covid-19 restrictions were in force in that country, ordinary people could not have a baby shower but leaders were free to hold mega political rallies.

“Boris actually believes the country is every politician’s heaven and what better way to run away from hell that his country, has become to him in recent weeks than to migrate there,” said an impeachable source close to Number 10 Downing Street.

Other than being allowed to party as much as he likes, Covid restrictions or not, Johnson would be free to do many other things that cannot be entertained in the United Kingdom.

For example, he would be allowed to drive on the wrong side of the road, to avoid a traffic jam because he is in a hurry to get to a party with friends. And instead of the traffic police waving him down and arresting him, they would instead salute him and offer to escort him to his destination.

“Incredibly, you don’t have to be the President to enjoy such privileges. You just need to be politician – even a mere MCA – who has a lot of money and powerful connections,” said political pundit Macau Butwaa.

Macau added that in the said country, a few other people are allowed to join the club of special privileges. They include self-styled prophets, tycoons and children of powerful politicians and businessmen.

“It is no wonder that Johnson has reportedly said that he would rather be an MCA in the Third World East African country than Prime Minister in the First World UK. This is one place where a leader feels completely at home,” said the 10 Downing Street source.

The UK Prime Minister is said to have also been attracted to the East African nation by the wisdom that laws are made for ordinary people who, like sheep, need to be guided on the way to go, and not for leaders who made the very laws.

“The country realised long time ago that the lawmakers should have the discretion to obey or disregard the laws. The laws are made for lesser beings who need supervision,” said Macau.

Other leadership privileges that are said to have made Johnson settle on defecting to the country include the fact that as a politician, you can use a live human body, as a shooting practice target, (as long as you have enough money to settle their hospital bills), that you can steal a public dam or two and you are rewarded with plum political office and that, as a leader, you can say anything you feel like – including insulting the people – and they will give you a standing ovation.

By press time, embattled Prince Andrew was reportedly considering joining Johnson to defect to Kenya.

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