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Is happiness possible this festive season?

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2020 00:00 | By
Is happiness possible this festive season?

Pain and loss have defined the year 2020, making life for many difficult on the physical, emotional and financial spheres.  In all these, how can one afford to be happy?

Nailantei Norari @artnorari 

It has been an unusually burdensome year characterised by salary cuts, job losses, economic hardship resulting in businesses shutting down and deaths of family members thanks to Covid-19. 

Families have been left without bread winners, children orphaned, wives widowed and husbands wondering how to fit into the shoes of their departed wives.

Emotionally and financially, the year 2020 has been a difficult one for society at large.

With Christmas a few days to come, is it even possible to be in a festive mood in the midst of all these challenges?

Genuine happiness may seem elusive at best under the circumstances. But can you be happy during this season, and if so, how?

In a 2010 Princeton University study, researchers found that happiness is more intrinsic than extrinsic.

This is contrary to what many believe, with most pursuing material things, or external things that will make them happy.

The research showed that more money does not guarantee happiness as an increase in income beyond the point where basic needs are comfortably provided for does not increase happiness.

They posited that happiness is largely dependent on how resilient a person is and not on money or whether bad things do not happen to them.

Mental and physical wellness

Allan Lawrence, a leading psychologist and life coach in the country agrees. “You can meet a happy person who has lost almost everything and another sheltered rich person who is unhappy, yet they have never experienced hardships.

Many people who recover after bad things happen to them normally do so by taking agency over their lives.

This is not to say that you should diminish what happened to you, be it a job loss or losing a loved one.

Acknowledge what happened, throw a pity party for a while if you have to, then chart a way forward.

Seek help from friends and professional counsellors if it seems impossible to break the chains of victimhood,” Allan advises.

While many are fighting internal battles of self-pity and low self-worth this festive season, the holiday does not give them the luxury of being alone as relatives come visiting.

But what should one do when meeting with toxic relatives who are likely to judge you and find you wanting thereby making you feel worse than you did already?

“Never allow anyone to make you feel inferior. You can listen, but never hear. Do not take it to heart. It might be an in-law castigating you for your job loss.

Know that this stems from fear that their kin may not be provided for. Do not fight back as this is more likely to fuel the other person’s anger.

Firmly and politely, excuse yourself. Do not give toxic people unnecessary airtime,” Ken Munyua, a renowned counselling psychologist and spiritual leader advises.

Ken also explains the importance of planning ahead for the coming year so as not to be caught flatfooted.

Unpreparedness inevitably gives way to stress and unhappiness. He, therefore, cautions against overspending during this period and advises people to clear their December and January bills now, especially if they are not good at sticking to budgets.

This will ensure that they have less to spend and will not be overly burdened with financial woes after the festivities.

While it is important to worry about material things, it is equally important to be mindful of our health and wellness this festive period.

“If you work out, remember to go for a walk around the village of course, while observing all health guidelines.

Practise mindfulness and gratitude every other day, remembering to be grateful for what you still have.

Take good care of yourself. Create memories with loved ones. Make merry where you can.

Create new traditions if you cannot travel to see family or your family cannot travel to see you,” Ken sagely advises.

Alone on Christmas

While many will be spending time with their families this Christmas, many people will not be able to visit their families who may be at a high risk of infection or even death.

Most boomers who have elderly parents with health conditions such as hypertension and diabetes will be spending Christmas away from their loved ones as a way of protecting them.

How can they have a festive Christmas away from family? “Being alone does not mean you should be lonely.

Do something good for someone. If you cannot travel because of restrictions, use the money on a worthy cause.

Help a needy family. Donate to a children’s home. Send mobile money to your loved ones and make  Zoom or WhatsApp call to touch base or even sing Christmas carols. You can also take time out and vacate alone. 

This could be the time to do that Mt Kenya hike or take a walk in Karura Forest. If you cannot afford much, do not worry.

Do so much with the little you have. It could even be buying sweets for your neighbours’ children,” Ken concludes.

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