Shhh… your child knows all your secrets

Once, a parent called me to let me know she had lost her husband. She further requested us to speak to her son, who had reported to the school and help him accept his new reality.

I obliged. After all, why else was I seated at my desk? I let the school director know, and we immediately called the boy to the office. 

“How are you today?” the director began. 

“I’m okay. My dad died at the hospital on Thursday. They only got to tell my mum yesterday.” 

Puzzled, we exchanged looks. 

“Who told your mum only yesterday?” 

The boy went on to explain her mother was not the legitimate wife to his father. The Pandora’s box slipped open.

The boy revealed a lot of information to our ears’ discomfort, and we had to stop him at some point. 

We agreed the boy knew more than he needed to, and when I got a chance with his mother later in the week, I pointed out how much weight the boy could be carrying with so much information loaded on him. 

See, children have an interesting way of decoding information and often include themselves in the causes of the problems.

It is essential to keep in mind that children burdened with adult issues are equally denied the joys of childhood. 

A child who carries more worry and pain earlier on in life will be negatively impacted in one way or another.

It is impossible to draw a line against the possibility of encouraging social impairment in the coming generations unless we catch its source early on. 

It all begins at home. Besides a healthy meal, what are you feeding your child? What language do you speak in front of them?

Do you insult neighbours or their children? Do you disrespect their teachers? Do you fight with spouse in their presence? Do you force children to take sides? 

If you are, then it is time to stop and choose to raise better versions of ourselves. How else will we know what we could have been if we only did it better?