What if we allowed everyone to just use vulgar language?

Ndung’u Mburu

There is no other country I’d rather live in than Kenya. Seriously! No, seriously! Imagine not living in Kenya!

The land of the Jubilee government that unveils trains built in 1958 and tries to pass them off as “modernisation!”

The country where leaders go around the country starting fights in churches and organising political rallies declaring “we shall support the Hustler in 2022” all in the name of “not engaging in politics!” How can you not be impressed, living in such country?

This week, the Internet was broken, (is that phrase still a thing?) crashed and burned by the video of a 13-year-old boy who was dropping vulgarities faster than Kalonzo Musyoka changes his political stand.

From what I understand, the young man blew his top (or gasket) because he was being bullied at school by one of a fellow student, which went as far as being called gay. 

From what I understand, the young man blew his top (or gasket) because he was being bullied at school by one of a fellow student, which went as far as being called gay. 

The Internet was on fire with people complaining of how the boy is not well brought up and included some suggestions for the mother on how to get his son to behave including but not limited to beating him to a coma.

Breathing fire

First of all, as a father, I want to say, I’m surprised and disappointed. I’m surprised that everybody seems to be acting so surprised?

What is all this hoopla and ruckus all about? Because this is a child? Oh, please!

In this age of the internet, how do you know that a toddler’s “googooo gaagaas” is not just a bunch of F-bombs because of just how satisfied it is? 

Last I checked we didn’t have laws or even guidelines in this country that tell us how old one should be when cursing! So, again, where is the problem?

Now that we’re a country of law and order, shouldn’t Parliament be spending more time doing meaningful things such as implementing laws barring children who are constantly on the internet from cursing instead of Suba MP John Mbadi telling us who is or who isn’t the President’s girlfriend?

 Secondly, I’m disappointed, deeply. Why? Because, just the other day, it was okay for Gatundu South MP Moses Kuria to compare the cancellation of the Presidential results in 2018 to a newborn being sexually abused by Raila Odinga during a campaign rally! 

So why are these humans ranting, raving and breathing fire and brimstone while suggesting that this boy is behaving in such a manner because he has not received enough concussions from the mother?

 Surely, it was fine when Suba North MP Millie Odhiambo called President Uhuru Kenyatta a hyena, extremely stupid and a “mshenzi” during the passing of the (in)famous security laws and concluded by saying that she was exercising her freedom of expression and the right to have a conscience? 

Are children NOT allowed to express their opinions and practise their right to expression? I thought we protected children more than anything else in this world?

 And finally, I thought the internet, nowadays, is the best parent, teacher, doctor and nanny because we’re too busy and pre-occupied looking for money to give to the government’s creative accountants?

Are we now going to blame it for the lessons it’s giving our children? Surely! Kenyans! And in any case the boy apologised! Didn’t he?

Meanwhile, as that unfolded, Laikipia Woman MP Catherine Waruguru was getting kicked out of a church in her own county after she, allegedly, dragged some drunkards to an AIPCA church and got herself involved in a scuffle with nominated MP Maina Kamanda. Yes, Maina Kamanda.

The seventy-something- year-old legislator who seems to be attracting church scuffles whenever he goes to worship.

Political insults

 AIPCA has since demanded for an apology from the Woman Representative.

Oh, by the way, the Catholic Church has also stopped all political functions in their churches from now henceforth. In my humble opinion this is just wrong! 

We’re heading to the political season. The church should adjust their schedules to include political insults and fights in their services.

As a matter of fact, they should set aside entire days to just handle that. Otherwise, how else are we going to build massive churches and get more worshippers to buy the pastors huge vehicles and private jets?

 As for Mr I-can’t-Worship-In-Peace-Anymore, Hon Maina Kamanda, if I were him, I’d call a press conference, throw in the towel and declare “I’m too old for this sh**!” and apologise later. It always seems to work for the political class! [email protected]