Acid-attack officer forgives wife for loss of sight, starts support initiative
The story of Dan Matakayia, a police officer who survived an attack by his wife using sulfuric acid, could be a true reflection of the silent torments that couples go through to keep their marriages alive.
Nine years since the ordeal that left him completely blind and disfigured, Matakayia has embarked on a mission to educate men who could be suffering silently at the hands of ruthless wives.
Traditionally in the African set-up, when men become victims of domestic violence, they find it hard to seek help. Even when they suffer life-threatening injuries, they usually remain ashamed to admit it.
But this 34-year-old police constable, based at Industrial Area in Nairobi, believes that life must continue.
He has dusted himself off, picked up the pieces of his life and is traversing the country preaching against domestic violence. Memorable events
The events of September 21, 2013, will forever be memorable. At around 5:30am, an extremely tired Matakayia had just left Kisii Central Police Station after an overnight work shift and was ready to relax.
But things went haywire after he arrived at home and went to sleep.
His wife — now 31 years — woke up from a deep slumber after he had retired to bed and decided to make his life miserable. Mercilessly, she poured sulfuric acid on him — a corrosive liquid that cost him his vision. “I felt a burning sensation on my face and arms, as if someone had poured hot water on me. It was very painful. I got up to look for water and realised I couldn’t open my eyes. I started screaming,” he recounts.
He continues: “ I tried to leave the house but she had poured water on the floor and connected naked electric power wires to the water, meaning she wanted me to be electrocuted. Luckily, I screamed for help and my colleagues at the police line heard my cries”.
One brave policewoman who responded to his SOS got him out of the house and he was rushed to hospital.
The formerly happy officer narrated to ‘People Daily’ yesterday how the two had an altercation over having a second child, two weeks after burying their nine-month-old baby who had succumbed to meningitis.
“She told me she had sought advice and had been told that to heal from the loss, we had to bear another child without delay. I refused the offer because I thought external forces had started controlling my family. Arguments on this subject are the cause of what happened to me,” he recalls.
“She also wanted to move the clothes and other items belonging to our late child to Nakuru, where she used to stay, but I remained adamant that transferring them would taint our image since neighbours would query the matter.”
Matakayia says that after arguing for about one week, the wife explained her predicament to his mother-in-law, who invited her home for advice.
But she turned violent the day she was supposed to go home. “When I was asleep, she attacked me. Apparently, the acid continued to damage my eyes and gradually made me blind,” he recounts.
Matakayia adds that he underwent over 15 surgeries in various hospitals before he was admitted to Kenyatta National and Referral Hospital (KNH) where a doctor broke the sad news that he would never regain his eyesight.
This made him confused and angry, even as doctors told him he was lucky to be alive. Thoughts of suicide crossed his mind from time to time when he thought of his wife of four years.
Contemplated suicide
“Doctors did skin grafting, and removed tissues from other parts of the body to assist the burns to heal. But efforts to help me see again didn’t succeed. It was very devastating. I lost hope in life to a point that I started contemplating suicide. I wanted to jump from the top of KNH because I felt there was nothing left for me but death.”
After a long stay in hospital, a male cancer patient in the same ward who had just been flown in from abroad for home management and care, encouraged him that despite having lost his sight, he still had another chance to live.
“The patient was suffering from cancerous leukemia that was in stage four. He told me that, unlike me, he was just waiting for his date with God. I really felt encouraged and made this my turning point,” the officer recalls.
Health facilities that Matakayia was treated in include Kisii county, KNH, Nairobi, and Nairobi West and Coptic hospitals. Doctors then recommended rehabilitation and therapy.
He has also been to America in 2019 where it was recommended that he undergoes six surgeries to correct his blocked nostril. “But after undergoing the first surgery, Covid-19 broke out and I couldn’t go back for the second surgery. I hope to travel back to USA this year, subject to availability of funds,” he says.
After healing and counselling, Matakayia formed the Dan Shieshie Foundation in 2016 to help men who want to come out of domestic violence and share their experiences.
Ambassador of hope
The organisation, he said, is meant to ensure that male victims of domestic, acid and burns violence are empowered to live as autonomous, dignified and proactive democratic citizens.
Today, Matakayian travels across Kenya offering counselling to police colleagues and other men. At Industrial Area Police Station, he has been assigned the duty of counselling colleagues and petty crime offenders.
“We also aim to increase accessibility to human rights services and other survival skills, including medical care and legal support through networking and economic empowerment. We also assist on food security and nutrition for domestic, acid and burns victims,” he said.
Matakayia regrets that thousands of men undergo domestic violence but continue to suffer in silence owing to fears of stigma and ridicule by family, friends, colleagues and society.
He advises men to observe certain indicators in their houses that may lead to violence and resolve such issues through proper communication channels.
“Be observant, look for indicators of violence. Interrogate them, sit down together and talk ... resolve key issues in your marriages. To those who are yet to marry, marriage is not a trial-and-error thing. Do due diligence before making the decision as some women are raised in backgrounds full of violence which could transfer to their marriages.”
