Hustler Nation wants Ndee’s graft amnesty extended to 2032

Sunday, May 23rd, 2021 00:00 | By
Hustler Nation wants Ndee’s graft amnesty extended to 2032.

Mambo Matata

After lengthy brainstorming meetings by its economic think-tank, the Hustler Nation has decided the corruption amnesty proposed by its economic sage, the indefatigable David Ndee, be extended to 2032.

According to impeachable sources close to the many prayerful meetings, the extension of the amnesty would enable the anticipated Hustler government implement its bottom up economics blueprint for the next decade without a hitch.

It will also enable hardworking businessmen and women and private developers operate freely without unnecessary shackles and red-tape that slow down individual and national progress.

“The graft amnesty will ensure in the first decade of being in government, the Hustler Nation will help as many hustlers as possible cross the poverty line and become overnight millionaires,” said a source, who did not want to be named because he is not authorised to disclose the contents of movement’s manifesto at this stage.

Bottom up economics, he said, would also enable the hustlers to catch up with the dynasties, thus level the socio-economic playing field and avert an imminent revolution.

He added that since the dynasties had eaten to their fill since independence “to extent that they are now vomiting on our humble shoes”, it was now the hustlers turn to gorge on the national cake.

The source said that while graft had in the past been an exclusive club of a few well-connected tenderpreneurs and strategically-placed government officials, the bottom up economics would ensure graft begins at the bottom and everyone would have a chance at the feeding trough.

“It is only fair that the people at the bottom of the food chain move up to the top.

That’s what bottom up economics is all about,” said the source, adding that that can only be possible if the corruption amnesty is extended for at least ten years. 

With the amnesty firmly in place, he said, chicken sellers and wheelbarrow pushers will shoot past the poverty line with the speed of light. 

“We want to change this country one tender at a time. If you don’t believe me, just look the bottom-up economic miracles that were witnessed in the NYS and Kemsa projects!

Do not be deceived, this country has enough resources to instantly turn everyone into a millionaire,” said the source.

He thanked Ndee for the amnesty proposal, saying only a top-notch brain like his can come up with such a splendid, life-transforming, history-making idea.

The source said if Kenya had only ten Ndees, the country would have long time ago said kwaheri forever to poverty.

“How come no one ever thought up such an idea for the nearly six decades that Kenya has been independent?

Imagine where Kenya would be had there been an amnesty immediately after independence, renewed in 1978, 2003 and in 2013? Kenya would certainly be a first world country,” he said, adding that the reason Kenya is economically light years behind Singapore and South Korea is the failure by past regimes to see the economic wonders that a corruption amnesty would deliver.

To ensure the bottom up economics blueprint is implemented without any drawbacks, the Hustler Nation would do away with the Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission, the anti-corruption court and Chapter Six of the Constitution, which the source say are major obstacles to progress.

“The Directorate of Criminal Investigations would also be advised to stick to its lane and stop meddling in poverty eradication projects.

Instead it should go after real criminals like chicken thieves the way the police and our noble courts have been doing.

The DCI should leave alone people who are trying to pull themselves out of poverty by all means,” said our source. [email protected]

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