We planned for three children, but got six

When Mullen Awuor Oigo Magak and her husband Pastor James Ochieng Magak lost their third born child when he was only three months old, they were shattered and devastated. 

“When we got married, we planned to have three children, but when our third born child passed away, we asked God a lot of questions. God revealed to us that due to the loss we suffered he would reward us four times. And from that point I just embraced and loved the idea of having a big family,” says Mullen.

And indeed, this came to pass and today the couple has six children— five girls and one boy. Their children are aged 16,13,10, seven, five and two years. 

The first three pregnancies were smooth for Mullen, but for the fourth pregnancy she encountered some challenges. “I was on family planning and started bleeding. I decided to go to hospital. The doctor told me I had lost a pregnancy. Remember that I had lost my third born child some nine months back and now I was being told I had lost a pregnancy, which I was not aware of. The doctor advised me to go to Metropolitan Hospital in Buruburu to have all the remains in my womb removed,” says Mullen.

“My husband looked at me and asked whether I had faith and I said ‘yes’. He requested we go home and he prayed for me. After six months, I delivered a beautiful baby girl whom we named Ushindi Praise for she was our victory of praise. I also conceived my fifth baby while I was on family planning, but since I was taking some drugs for TB, I had been informed that they would tamper with the family planning. With the last born child, I only knew that I was pregnant while on a mission in Congo and Botswana,” she explains.

Journey of love, prayers and patience

The parenting journey has not been without challenges, but not anything that is insurmountable. “Each child is unique. They portray different talents, but we don’t make comparisons. We love them equally since all of them need our attention,” she says.

Mullen and Pastor James serve as missionaries in the Southern part of Africa, at Destiny Chapel under Bishop Joel Chola and Pastor James Okumu.

She recalls how they met years ago at a fellowship in which James was pastoring. “It was called Climax Fellowship. That is where our journey of friendship began and later companionship,” says Mullen. 

She adds: “I loved the way he was relating to people. He had a big heart to accommodate everyone in the fellowship, yet he was a guest. Another unique thing I loved about him was that on that particular day, his mum died and he was coming from the morgue to preach to us. I told myself this is surely a man after God’s heart and if he loved God like this, what about his family?”

For Pastor James, he says God revealed to him that Mullen would be his wife. “After the fellowship, she went back to school while I went back to business and preaching. Later on, I got engaged to a black American woman. One day, I had a dream in which I saw Mullen pregnant with my child. From that point I changed my mind about getting married to the other woman. And as they say, the rest is history,” James explains.

“We did not have money for a big wedding. We just went to the pastor. He told us if we didn’t have money, he would still bless our marriage. And that is what happened,” says James.The two will be celebrating their 17th anniversary this year. 

Just like any other couple, they have faced challenges, but managed to work it through. “My husband loves his phone and spends most of his time on it if he is not conducting Bible Study. It took me time to adjust to that. Also, when we travel and go for missions, we always miss our children so much,” says Mullen.

For the Magak’s, God has always been the author and pillar of their marriage. James offers: “The secret to a long and fulfilling marriage is for husbands to love their wives just as Christ loved the church. If men can do that, then women will not submit. Also, you can only love if you have the source of love who is God. Marriage is a ministry. We minister to one another. It’s a two way thing.”

Balancing act

As a family, they love spending time together by going out on dates with the children, especially when they have closed school.

“We take some time off from mission and just give the children a treat. They are our biggest treasure and they know when it’s not mission time, it’s family time -eating nyama choma and pizza, going out for a swim or a road trip,” says Mullen.

Mullen shares how she has learnt to balance between motherhood and other roles she plays well. “I play my motherhood and wife roles as required. I always have time for myself because I need to be me. If I don’t spare some time, I don’t think I can handle the children and my husband well,” she says

To couples and parents, especially in this era when marriages do not last and the marriage institution has been shunned by many young people, they have a word of advice. 

“Let God be the foundation of your marriage. The day you remove Him from your marriage, it will die.  Just like the three-legged African stool that needs each leg for it to be stable; there is need for husband and wife to connect with God in everything they do. The husband is the vision of the family while the wife is the helper of the vision and God is the source of the vision. Communication is important in a marriage and if couples adhere to this, they will have a good marriage,” she says in conclusion.