Our lives would have been better if dad was still alive
Losing a father can be a very painful experience. All that remains behind are the wonderful memories that they shared with their dad, while it leaves also the gap of all that would have been. This makes Father’s Day a kind of bitter-sweet moment.
As the world marked this year’s Father’s Day yesterday, Mombasa based loctician, Christopher Majengo, remembers his father for the love he had for his family and being a disciplinarian.
His father, James Majengo, an Administrative Police, had married three wives and had over 20 children. Unfortunately, he died in 1994 before Christopher even started school, leaving all responsibility to his mother. Nevertheless, Christopher is more sure, if his father had stayed alive just a little longer, his fate and that of his other siblings would have been different.
“As much as I couldn’t spend much time with my father, except for the times when he could get us goodies, clothes, or medical attention, he was a great father. I often tell myself that if he was alive today, we would have been better people because he also pushed people out of their comfort zone. He could have made sure we all got a good education. When a father is present, it is easier for the mother to also get respected in the house,” shares Christopher.
After his father’s demise and with his mother as the last wife, life for him and his siblings had become really difficult. The polygamous family had a lot of fights over wealth. Life changed from eating three meals a day to one meal a day. His mother was a house wife, and so were the other step mothers.
“My mother being the third wife, we were oppressed— we were seen as the last family, like we were nothing, outcasts. I wished so often he stayed around a bit longer to give us security,” intimates the beautician.
Asha Noor, a humanitarian and former police office remembers her father mostly for his love for his family and kindness to the people around them. There were always visitors at their home. And during Eid holidays, there was plenty of food for all. Experiencing their father’s kindness to people of all walks at a young age had become a life lesson that both her and her siblings carry to date.
“Our father was a generous man. Because of this, we received many visitors at home. During some holidays, there would be plenty of food for everyone around us, all prepared in big sufurias. I can’t say that we were very rich, but our father was financially stable and our life was more comfortable compared to some neighbours. When Kenyatta died in 1978, dad brought out the television for people to watch the whole proceedings, this was not the first time he was doing this,” shares Asha.
Her father, Noor Abdallah was not only a professional chef, but also a member of the Council of Elders during the Kenyatta reign. Employed as the first African Chef at the Midlands Hotel at the time, he comfortably raised his middle class family at Flamingo Estate in Nakuru, which was considered, high class during the time. When he passed on, things became difficult as their mother still wanted to give them a good life.
Dealing with grief is never easy. Holidays and anniversaries only make this pain worse. As we celebrate Father’s Day, it is okay to acknowledge their place, that gap that no one can fill, and also celebrate them for how they prepared you to face life even in their absence.
