I got cold feet in my relationship due to financial crisis
Hi Achokis
I have been in a relationship for the last two years. Everything has been going on well in the relationship and I was even thinking of take it to the next level.
Due to this Covid-19 situation, I was sent on compulsory leave and there’s a likelihood of being laid off eventually because our company hasn’t been doing well even before the pandemic.
This has made me develop cold feet in our relationship, which my girlfriend has noticed.
She has kept pestering me by wanting to find out what is happening to me, but I fear to tell her the truth.
I love her, but I’m afraid she may leave me, or even if we continue with this relationship, I won’t be able to handle her because of my situation. What should I do?
Our take
Thank you for reaching out. We know there are many young men who may be finding themselves in such a place.
We feel with you concerning what has happened and is likely to happen to you. Our encouragement to you is not to lose hope.
Utilise this period when you are on compulsory leave to see how you can work on your CV, sharpen whatever skills you have, think through what you can do with yourself in case you lose your job.
As you do whatever you are doing now, it is imperative that you be honest enough with your woman and tell her the truth.
Tell her about your fears and how this is affecting you. The reason this step is important, is because it will also help you face your own skeletons.
For example, is your being a man dependent only on you having a job or not? What is true masculinity?
Failure to understand this makes you hang on to things that are not assured, like a job, to define yourself as a man.
The big question for you is, are you secure in yourself and in your relationship?
Be honest
Of course this will take a lot of courage, but who knows, as someone once said, the place where your feasr lie is also the same place your opportunities lie.
Who knows what this may do to your relationship? A woman wants to know that her man can be honest with her even when things are very bad.
And contrary to what many men think, there are women out there who are not just after what a man has, but after who he really is.
More than anything else, a woman wants a man who truly loves her and is open and honest with her.
If you are open with your girlfriend and she develops cold feet, don’t judge her based on her reactions.
Let her process this thing and once you have together processed, you can talk about it.
Her treatment toward you after this will let you know if she really loves you or not. This is a good season to test your love for each other. The writers are marriage and relationship coaches [email protected]
